Wow…It’s been a while and where to start? I guess I’m better. I can’t say I’m walking around in constant state of grief and disbelief…but I can’t say I’m all together myself. I’m lazy…prone to just going to bed if S is around to deal with our daughter and the dogs. My house isn’t the same…my bedroom is a disaster…I do enough in the rest of the house to get by, but it certainly isn’t as orderly as it usually is. S and DD are out for the night so I had a bowl of ice cream for dinner…not something I would normally do. I wonder if this is some case of depression that I don’t even know about……I can’t say I feel depressed. Nor am I myself. I guess this too will pass. Time…time, everyone keeps saying it takes time. F time….keeps rolling along regardless.
I’m not even enjoying my Christmas shopping. Usually by now I’m close to being done. I usually offer to help my male friends get stuff for their wives because I love to shop, and I find they are essentially clueless in the gift giving department (I wish someone would help S out in the same way!). I especially like shopping with someone else’s money. But see…I use to do my dad’s shopping for my mom. Guess I won’t be doing that this year. I’m randomly raiding Target, not doing the mall and ordering everything I can online with out comparing prices! If you know me…that’s shocking. I mean I’m the girl that buys something…finds it for $5.00 cheaper and buys it again, only to run around and take the original one back to save the $5.00. I didn’t decorate for Halloween and couldn’t tell you where my Christmas stuff is b/c S. re organized the basement and I could care less in attempting to find or do anything...and I mean anything.
I’m not following the adoption blogs. I am avoiding dinner with friends because I’d rather go to bed and read. Man I need to snap out of this…but I did finally write an entry here…so maybe it’s a start!
And HEY! The Democrats won the elections! I did do a big happy dance that day. And Rumsfield out too! Only if we could get rid of Bush and Cheney! See…maybe this is a start of a better mood!
Thursday, November 16, 2006
A Liberal's Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives
I love this........
A Liberal's Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives ...
To My Conservative Brothers and Sisters,
I know you are dismayed and disheartened at the results of last week's election. You're worried that the country is heading toward a very bad place you don't want it to go. Your 12-year Republican Revolution has ended with so much yet to do, so many promises left unfulfilled. You are in a funk, and I understand.
Well, cheer up, my friends! Do not despair. I have good news for you. I, and the millions of others who are now in charge with our Democratic Congress, have a pledge we would like to make to you, a list of promises that we offer you because we value you as our fellow Americans. You deserve to know what we plan to do with our newfound power -- and, to be specific, what we will do to you and for you.
Thus, here is our Liberal's Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives:
Dear Conservatives and Republicans,
I, and my fellow signatories, hereby make these promises to you:
1. We will always respect you for your conservative beliefs. We will never, ever, call you "unpatriotic" simply because you disagree with us. In fact, we encourage you to dissent and disagree with us.
2. We will let you marry whomever you want, even when some of us consider your behavior to be "different" or "immoral." Who you marry is none of our business. Love and be in love -- it's a wonderful gift.
3. We will not spend your grandchildren's money on our personal whims or to enrich our friends. It's your checkbook, too, and we will balance it for you.
4. When we soon bring our sons and daughters home from Iraq, we will bring your sons and daughters home, too. They deserve to live. We promise never to send your kids off to war based on either a mistake or a lie.
5. When we make America the last Western democracy to have universal health coverage, and all Americans are able to get help when they fall ill, we promise that you, too, will be able to see a doctor, regardless of your ability to pay. And when stem cell research delivers treatments and cures for diseases that affect you and your loved ones, we'll make sure those advances are available to you and your family, too.
6. Even though you have opposed environmental regulation, when we clean up our air and water, we, the Democratic majority, will let you, too, breathe the cleaner air and drink the purer water.
7. Should a mass murderer ever kill 3,000 people on our soil, we will devote every single resource to tracking him down and bringing him to justice. Immediately. We will protect you.
8. We will never stick our nose in your bedroom or your womb. What you do there as consenting adults is your business. We will continue to count your age from the moment you were born, not the moment you were conceived.
9. We will not take away your hunting guns. If you need an automatic weapon or a handgun to kill a bird or a deer, then you really aren't much of a hunter and you should, perhaps, pick up another sport. We will make our streets and schools as free as we can from these weapons and we will protect your children just as we would protect ours.
10. When we raise the minimum wage, we will pay you -- and your employees -- that new wage, too. When women are finally paid what men make, we will pay conservative women that wage, too.
11. We will respect your religious beliefs, even when you don't put those beliefs into practice. In fact, we will actively seek to promote your most radical religious beliefs ("Blessed are the poor," "Blessed are the peacemakers," "Love your enemies," "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God," and "Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."). We will let people in other countries know that God doesn't just bless America, he blesses everyone. We will discourage religious intolerance and fanaticism -- starting with the fanaticism here at home, thus setting a good example for the rest of the world.
12. We will not tolerate politicians who are corrupt and who are bought and paid for by the rich. We will go after any elected leader who puts him or herself ahead of the people. And we promise you we will go after the corrupt politicians on our side FIRST. If we fail to do this, we need you to call us on it. Simply because we are in power does not give us the right to turn our heads the other way when our party goes astray. Please perform this important duty as the loyal opposition.
I promise all of the above to you because this is your country, too. You are every bit as American as we are. We are all in this together. We sink or swim as one. Thank you for your years of service to this country and for giving us the opportunity to see if we can make things a bit better for our 300 million fellow Americans -- and for the rest of the world.
Signed,
Michael Mooremmflint@aol.com(Click here to sign the pledge)www.michaelmoore.com
P.S. Please feel free to pass this on.
http://www.michaelmoore.com/words/message/index.php?id=201
A Liberal's Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives ...
To My Conservative Brothers and Sisters,
I know you are dismayed and disheartened at the results of last week's election. You're worried that the country is heading toward a very bad place you don't want it to go. Your 12-year Republican Revolution has ended with so much yet to do, so many promises left unfulfilled. You are in a funk, and I understand.
Well, cheer up, my friends! Do not despair. I have good news for you. I, and the millions of others who are now in charge with our Democratic Congress, have a pledge we would like to make to you, a list of promises that we offer you because we value you as our fellow Americans. You deserve to know what we plan to do with our newfound power -- and, to be specific, what we will do to you and for you.
Thus, here is our Liberal's Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives:
Dear Conservatives and Republicans,
I, and my fellow signatories, hereby make these promises to you:
1. We will always respect you for your conservative beliefs. We will never, ever, call you "unpatriotic" simply because you disagree with us. In fact, we encourage you to dissent and disagree with us.
2. We will let you marry whomever you want, even when some of us consider your behavior to be "different" or "immoral." Who you marry is none of our business. Love and be in love -- it's a wonderful gift.
3. We will not spend your grandchildren's money on our personal whims or to enrich our friends. It's your checkbook, too, and we will balance it for you.
4. When we soon bring our sons and daughters home from Iraq, we will bring your sons and daughters home, too. They deserve to live. We promise never to send your kids off to war based on either a mistake or a lie.
5. When we make America the last Western democracy to have universal health coverage, and all Americans are able to get help when they fall ill, we promise that you, too, will be able to see a doctor, regardless of your ability to pay. And when stem cell research delivers treatments and cures for diseases that affect you and your loved ones, we'll make sure those advances are available to you and your family, too.
6. Even though you have opposed environmental regulation, when we clean up our air and water, we, the Democratic majority, will let you, too, breathe the cleaner air and drink the purer water.
7. Should a mass murderer ever kill 3,000 people on our soil, we will devote every single resource to tracking him down and bringing him to justice. Immediately. We will protect you.
8. We will never stick our nose in your bedroom or your womb. What you do there as consenting adults is your business. We will continue to count your age from the moment you were born, not the moment you were conceived.
9. We will not take away your hunting guns. If you need an automatic weapon or a handgun to kill a bird or a deer, then you really aren't much of a hunter and you should, perhaps, pick up another sport. We will make our streets and schools as free as we can from these weapons and we will protect your children just as we would protect ours.
10. When we raise the minimum wage, we will pay you -- and your employees -- that new wage, too. When women are finally paid what men make, we will pay conservative women that wage, too.
11. We will respect your religious beliefs, even when you don't put those beliefs into practice. In fact, we will actively seek to promote your most radical religious beliefs ("Blessed are the poor," "Blessed are the peacemakers," "Love your enemies," "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God," and "Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."). We will let people in other countries know that God doesn't just bless America, he blesses everyone. We will discourage religious intolerance and fanaticism -- starting with the fanaticism here at home, thus setting a good example for the rest of the world.
12. We will not tolerate politicians who are corrupt and who are bought and paid for by the rich. We will go after any elected leader who puts him or herself ahead of the people. And we promise you we will go after the corrupt politicians on our side FIRST. If we fail to do this, we need you to call us on it. Simply because we are in power does not give us the right to turn our heads the other way when our party goes astray. Please perform this important duty as the loyal opposition.
I promise all of the above to you because this is your country, too. You are every bit as American as we are. We are all in this together. We sink or swim as one. Thank you for your years of service to this country and for giving us the opportunity to see if we can make things a bit better for our 300 million fellow Americans -- and for the rest of the world.
Signed,
Michael Mooremmflint@aol.com(Click here to sign the pledge)www.michaelmoore.com
P.S. Please feel free to pass this on.
http://www.michaelmoore.com/words/message/index.php?id=201
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
So what do you do?
What do you do after your dad dies? I mean I'm not sure. We had his funeral on Thursday and it all seems so surreal. I just can't believe he is gone. My Daddy is gone.
I go thru waves of emotions. Sometimes I'm okay, other times I cry. I'm anxious and nervous for no apparent reason. I feel so alone. I didn't realize how big of an influence he had on me, how much I needed him. Needed him to feel safe in this world. My safety net is gone.
My Dad and I didn't have the best relationship. I think we were too much a like. He had done so many things in our past but I forgave him a very long ago...I just think he never forgave himself. And god knows we never talked about it. We could never talk. So I guess how could he know I forgave him?
My Mother claims we both held each other to too high a standard, on a "pedestal" and when we fell neither of us ever recovered. But the one thing I never doubted is that he loved me and would do anything for me...I hope he knew the same.
My brother and Dad were able to move beyond all the turmoil...but my bother is a different person than I am...and I'm so glad they did. They were able to have a relationship they both wanted so much. But my Dad and I? We never did...and now we will never have that chance.
And my Mother, god my Mother. She just seems so small now. I don't think anyone realized how much she needed him too. We never thought he did much around the house to help her.....but the space left in that house, his absence is huge. He was home. I realize that now but I never had the chance to tell him. The house seems so quiet, so alone. My Dad was not a big man but his presence was huge. He filled a room, his heart was large, his spirit was great. I just can't believe it took him leaving to make me realize this.
I knew it would end like this....me not seeing him for months with no other excuse but that we annoyed each other. Me feeling guilty for not calling enough or taking my daughter enough so she would know her grandfather better. Guilt, something I could have easily avoided if I was not wrapped up in my own life. I should have made the time.
So to anyone reading this..make the time. Make the time before it's too late.
I go thru waves of emotions. Sometimes I'm okay, other times I cry. I'm anxious and nervous for no apparent reason. I feel so alone. I didn't realize how big of an influence he had on me, how much I needed him. Needed him to feel safe in this world. My safety net is gone.
My Dad and I didn't have the best relationship. I think we were too much a like. He had done so many things in our past but I forgave him a very long ago...I just think he never forgave himself. And god knows we never talked about it. We could never talk. So I guess how could he know I forgave him?
My Mother claims we both held each other to too high a standard, on a "pedestal" and when we fell neither of us ever recovered. But the one thing I never doubted is that he loved me and would do anything for me...I hope he knew the same.
My brother and Dad were able to move beyond all the turmoil...but my bother is a different person than I am...and I'm so glad they did. They were able to have a relationship they both wanted so much. But my Dad and I? We never did...and now we will never have that chance.
And my Mother, god my Mother. She just seems so small now. I don't think anyone realized how much she needed him too. We never thought he did much around the house to help her.....but the space left in that house, his absence is huge. He was home. I realize that now but I never had the chance to tell him. The house seems so quiet, so alone. My Dad was not a big man but his presence was huge. He filled a room, his heart was large, his spirit was great. I just can't believe it took him leaving to make me realize this.
I knew it would end like this....me not seeing him for months with no other excuse but that we annoyed each other. Me feeling guilty for not calling enough or taking my daughter enough so she would know her grandfather better. Guilt, something I could have easily avoided if I was not wrapped up in my own life. I should have made the time.
So to anyone reading this..make the time. Make the time before it's too late.
Monday, October 09, 2006
RIP Dear Daddy
My dad died yesterday. He was only 60. Why am I on the computer? Because my house seems so empty and I came home last night from my mother's to gather my stuff, get my car fixed..figure out what to do next.
My dad has been ill for a long time. Too many things to mention...but it wasn't any of that that killed him. It was a blood clot to the bowel...it rotted, it was all bad. He had less than a 10% chance to live. This was Thursday. But see my dad has defied all kinds of laws of logic. Maybe he would be the one...he could make it if anyone could. His spirit was strong. And he did get better...each and every day a little bit better. They told us he would never regain consciousness...and he did. The surgeon didn't want to discuss the next step or "what ifs" but he came to us Saturday and said if he continued to improve they would go back in next week and take another look...put in a colostomy bag. But he did tell us again not to get optimistic...we had a long road.
He was hooked up to tubes and IVs and all kind of stuff he never wanted. We all wavered between being hopeful and wondering if we were doing the right thing. Were we prolonging the inevitable? We didn't want him to suffer anymore. He had such a hard life. But as my daughter said "Mommy, we have to hope."
My sister flew home from England Friday...she spent all day Saturday with him...he saw his baby grandson. It was as if he waited for her, for his baby. He had to know when he saw her that things weren't good. Then Saturday night his organs started to fail...on Sunday we knew it was time. He wouldn't want to live like this. We all gathered around his bed and told him that we loved him...he nodded to us...he held our hands. They gave him a morphine drip and a sedative and turned off the machines at 10:50am...at 11:50 he was gone.
My daddy...my safety net. The guy I knew would always be there for me, to rescue me when needed is gone. Now I'm walking that tight rope without a net. And I'm scared. I guess I knew as long as he was there...there was a little of me that never had to grow up....now I do.
And god I feel so guilty. My dad and I didn't have the best relationship. To say we got on each other's nerves is an understatement. In some ways we were too much alike. And when I'm upset or uncomfortable I choice to ignore as oppose to deal...especially with him. There was never any arguing with him. I was 12 yrs old again every time I dealt with him. I'm not the type of person that cries easily...and he could reduce me to tears with one look. And because of that I hadn't seen him for 6 months, even though he lives only 3 hrs away. I can't remember the last time I spoke to him on the phone....I'm sure it was only a few weeks ago, but I can't remember and there is no excuse for it to have been weeks. I knew I needed to see him but my niece's birthday is this weekend and I figured I could see him then...but I won't. I'll never see him again. I know he wouldn't want me to feel guilty but I do. I know he knew I loved him...and he loved me but god it still hurts. My daddy is dead and there's no coming back from that.
My dad has been ill for a long time. Too many things to mention...but it wasn't any of that that killed him. It was a blood clot to the bowel...it rotted, it was all bad. He had less than a 10% chance to live. This was Thursday. But see my dad has defied all kinds of laws of logic. Maybe he would be the one...he could make it if anyone could. His spirit was strong. And he did get better...each and every day a little bit better. They told us he would never regain consciousness...and he did. The surgeon didn't want to discuss the next step or "what ifs" but he came to us Saturday and said if he continued to improve they would go back in next week and take another look...put in a colostomy bag. But he did tell us again not to get optimistic...we had a long road.
He was hooked up to tubes and IVs and all kind of stuff he never wanted. We all wavered between being hopeful and wondering if we were doing the right thing. Were we prolonging the inevitable? We didn't want him to suffer anymore. He had such a hard life. But as my daughter said "Mommy, we have to hope."
My sister flew home from England Friday...she spent all day Saturday with him...he saw his baby grandson. It was as if he waited for her, for his baby. He had to know when he saw her that things weren't good. Then Saturday night his organs started to fail...on Sunday we knew it was time. He wouldn't want to live like this. We all gathered around his bed and told him that we loved him...he nodded to us...he held our hands. They gave him a morphine drip and a sedative and turned off the machines at 10:50am...at 11:50 he was gone.
My daddy...my safety net. The guy I knew would always be there for me, to rescue me when needed is gone. Now I'm walking that tight rope without a net. And I'm scared. I guess I knew as long as he was there...there was a little of me that never had to grow up....now I do.
And god I feel so guilty. My dad and I didn't have the best relationship. To say we got on each other's nerves is an understatement. In some ways we were too much alike. And when I'm upset or uncomfortable I choice to ignore as oppose to deal...especially with him. There was never any arguing with him. I was 12 yrs old again every time I dealt with him. I'm not the type of person that cries easily...and he could reduce me to tears with one look. And because of that I hadn't seen him for 6 months, even though he lives only 3 hrs away. I can't remember the last time I spoke to him on the phone....I'm sure it was only a few weeks ago, but I can't remember and there is no excuse for it to have been weeks. I knew I needed to see him but my niece's birthday is this weekend and I figured I could see him then...but I won't. I'll never see him again. I know he wouldn't want me to feel guilty but I do. I know he knew I loved him...and he loved me but god it still hurts. My daddy is dead and there's no coming back from that.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
TV NIGHT!!
Okay...done feeling sorry for myeself...I know I recently put in an entry about TV shows...and well Tuesdays are one of my nights! I think I forgot to mention Veronica Mars on that post...and it is trully one of the best shows on TV...It might be my favorite...if you haven't watched it..give it a try or two...it is a tough show to jump in now at season 3 but give it a chance you won't be sorry. Tuesday nights on the CW..and Gilmore Girls! Yeah! Love that show too!!!
Did you guys see Heroes last night??? Wasn't it crazy??? And a bit bloodier than I'd like...this from a Buffy fan no less. Watch that show...it is awesome...Check ABC.com if you haven't watched it, the last 2 episodes are there. I think I might just rewatch them when I have the chance.
Did you guys see Heroes last night??? Wasn't it crazy??? And a bit bloodier than I'd like...this from a Buffy fan no less. Watch that show...it is awesome...Check ABC.com if you haven't watched it, the last 2 episodes are there. I think I might just rewatch them when I have the chance.
Crazy is relative... (warning F word used a lot!)
Or caused by relatives...I'm sure it's a bit of both. I rag on my husband's family a lot. And while they are nutts...my family is too.
There is a lot of history here...more than I can cover before dinner is done so that will have to wait for another post but what I can say is my Dad is fucked up. So is my Mom. But the funny part is I know they love us. Especially my Dad. And while their fucked up ways essentially isolated us from the rest of the family I never doubted my Dad loved us.
This isolation from our family was especially difficult on me. I was the oldest and my Mom is one of 6....4 girls and 2 boys. I was the oldest grandchild/niece and my Mom's family was my world. And I idolized my Aunts, they were everything to me. But because my Dad is fucked up...he did some really fucked up things. Ultimately it caused a rift in the family that 20 yrs later still isn't fixed and I've only seen my Aunts a few times since, the last of which was a few days after I graduated high school....in 1989...so it's been 17 yrs.
As I've gotten older and have escaped my parents home I wished I could see them again. Fear of my father's wrath and being rejected by them has made me think better of it...until they started contacting my sister.
Why have they contacted my sister I don't know. I think she gets a bit of a free pass because she is 6 yrs younger...maybe they think she doesn't remembers anything...I always felt like I was held responsible in many ways. I was told again and again, I was my "father's daughter." But see here's the thing, I am. I love my Dad, I don't love what he has done, but I love him.
When I graduated from high school things were especially bad, but that was a time when the family was "talking" again. It was a slow start, but it was something. Then they showed up to my graduation party...2 days late...like nothing happened and I was hurt and angry. I hadn't seen them in years as it was. I spent my graduation day waiting for them, so hoping we could reunite, be a family again and they didn't show. I was crushed and what I thought was an opportunity to fix things...failed miserably. I probably said things that now I don't even rememberbut I'm being held responsible for 17 yrs later.
Problem is, by contacting my sister they have stirred up emotions in me I wasn't ready for...and part of it is jealously. I don't understand why they don't contact me. Why don't they realize I was just a child too? Even if I was 18 at the time. It hurts you see because I have real memories of them, and believe it or not, most of them were good. Many times they were my saviors when things were so wrong with my family life when I was little. I have these memories and my sister doesn't. To her they truly are just strangers. She was 6 when they left our lives for the most part...we had some brief contacts here and there while she was a bit older...but they were always strained and difficult, ultimately ending on 6/3/1989.
I miss my Aunts..but I was just a kid and they did turn their backs on us too. I'm sure there are things about them I don't remember. I mean someone who walked out on us couldn't be all that good right? I look at my sister and my nephews and I can't imagine for a minute turning around and never seeing or speaking to them again. I love those boys like they are mine. I would jump in front of a bus to save their lives...and my sister's life too. So I'm jealous, I'm hurt, and I'm angry. My sister forwarded me a copy of an email from my Aunt to ask me what I thought. Now I'm armed with my Aunt's email address and I wondering what to do. Do I email her and tell her how I feel? Do I email her a "hi" and see where it goes? Do I just go on ignoring it? I don't know...I'm 12 again and crushed...I actually cried, and I rarely cry.
This is fucked up.
In no way am I angry with my sister......I wish I was in her position and I was the one they wanted to talk to. But I'm not...and I can't believe how hurt I am.
There is a lot of history here...more than I can cover before dinner is done so that will have to wait for another post but what I can say is my Dad is fucked up. So is my Mom. But the funny part is I know they love us. Especially my Dad. And while their fucked up ways essentially isolated us from the rest of the family I never doubted my Dad loved us.
This isolation from our family was especially difficult on me. I was the oldest and my Mom is one of 6....4 girls and 2 boys. I was the oldest grandchild/niece and my Mom's family was my world. And I idolized my Aunts, they were everything to me. But because my Dad is fucked up...he did some really fucked up things. Ultimately it caused a rift in the family that 20 yrs later still isn't fixed and I've only seen my Aunts a few times since, the last of which was a few days after I graduated high school....in 1989...so it's been 17 yrs.
As I've gotten older and have escaped my parents home I wished I could see them again. Fear of my father's wrath and being rejected by them has made me think better of it...until they started contacting my sister.
Why have they contacted my sister I don't know. I think she gets a bit of a free pass because she is 6 yrs younger...maybe they think she doesn't remembers anything...I always felt like I was held responsible in many ways. I was told again and again, I was my "father's daughter." But see here's the thing, I am. I love my Dad, I don't love what he has done, but I love him.
When I graduated from high school things were especially bad, but that was a time when the family was "talking" again. It was a slow start, but it was something. Then they showed up to my graduation party...2 days late...like nothing happened and I was hurt and angry. I hadn't seen them in years as it was. I spent my graduation day waiting for them, so hoping we could reunite, be a family again and they didn't show. I was crushed and what I thought was an opportunity to fix things...failed miserably. I probably said things that now I don't even rememberbut I'm being held responsible for 17 yrs later.
Problem is, by contacting my sister they have stirred up emotions in me I wasn't ready for...and part of it is jealously. I don't understand why they don't contact me. Why don't they realize I was just a child too? Even if I was 18 at the time. It hurts you see because I have real memories of them, and believe it or not, most of them were good. Many times they were my saviors when things were so wrong with my family life when I was little. I have these memories and my sister doesn't. To her they truly are just strangers. She was 6 when they left our lives for the most part...we had some brief contacts here and there while she was a bit older...but they were always strained and difficult, ultimately ending on 6/3/1989.
I miss my Aunts..but I was just a kid and they did turn their backs on us too. I'm sure there are things about them I don't remember. I mean someone who walked out on us couldn't be all that good right? I look at my sister and my nephews and I can't imagine for a minute turning around and never seeing or speaking to them again. I love those boys like they are mine. I would jump in front of a bus to save their lives...and my sister's life too. So I'm jealous, I'm hurt, and I'm angry. My sister forwarded me a copy of an email from my Aunt to ask me what I thought. Now I'm armed with my Aunt's email address and I wondering what to do. Do I email her and tell her how I feel? Do I email her a "hi" and see where it goes? Do I just go on ignoring it? I don't know...I'm 12 again and crushed...I actually cried, and I rarely cry.
This is fucked up.
In no way am I angry with my sister......I wish I was in her position and I was the one they wanted to talk to. But I'm not...and I can't believe how hurt I am.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
She running away...
Yep..my girl. That 10 yr old girl is running away. You know...her life is terrible.
My kid is a walking disaster, a mess, a slob...what ever you would like to call it. She takes after her dad. And the two of them...oh my god. A hurricane couldn't make a mess as bad as the two of them. Her room, well it's a disaster. I usually try not to say too much about her room...I mean it is her room after all. But see, my child has 2 rooms and a bathroom and the mess that eventually accumulates in there is mind blowing!
Finally today I told her she needed to clean things up. And after a round of arguing with said 10 yr old I lost it. That's right ...I threatened to clean it myself and after which 90% of the stuff would be gone! She packed a bag to leave. I told her to call her grandmother than..she can go live with her. (Nice aren't I?) Out the door she went to inform me she was walking...well she can't do that! So I ordered her back in the house, back upstairs to clean. She still insists she is running away....in fact she just handed me a bracelet's she just made with a note attached...it says...and I'm quoting here..."To M, See you in the future. From a kid that use to be yours."
OMG! It takes every once of self control not to laugh! Am I that messed up that I find humor in her agony!? Of course I find it totally ridiculous. And now I know she is making bracelet as opposed to cleaning up that room! Funny thing is..that second room, the play room...will be the baby's room. What will she do when that comes? Yikes!
Ah...just received a second note...and it says..."If you love me then I won't go."
The drama...................
My kid is a walking disaster, a mess, a slob...what ever you would like to call it. She takes after her dad. And the two of them...oh my god. A hurricane couldn't make a mess as bad as the two of them. Her room, well it's a disaster. I usually try not to say too much about her room...I mean it is her room after all. But see, my child has 2 rooms and a bathroom and the mess that eventually accumulates in there is mind blowing!
Finally today I told her she needed to clean things up. And after a round of arguing with said 10 yr old I lost it. That's right ...I threatened to clean it myself and after which 90% of the stuff would be gone! She packed a bag to leave. I told her to call her grandmother than..she can go live with her. (Nice aren't I?) Out the door she went to inform me she was walking...well she can't do that! So I ordered her back in the house, back upstairs to clean. She still insists she is running away....in fact she just handed me a bracelet's she just made with a note attached...it says...and I'm quoting here..."To M, See you in the future. From a kid that use to be yours."
OMG! It takes every once of self control not to laugh! Am I that messed up that I find humor in her agony!? Of course I find it totally ridiculous. And now I know she is making bracelet as opposed to cleaning up that room! Funny thing is..that second room, the play room...will be the baby's room. What will she do when that comes? Yikes!
Ah...just received a second note...and it says..."If you love me then I won't go."
The drama...................
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Where has the time gone?
Wow! It's been over 2wks since I've posted. I guess I'm officially over scheduled...or should I say DD is. School has started, soccer has official started, swim team has started, flute lessons, play dates, girl scouts...do you think she has too much on her plate? I certainly do but she fights me when I make her sit home and have a down day...what to do? I was always like that though..a go-go-go kind of girl. I always did much better in school when I had "too much to do." I guess she is her mother's child.
Speaking of which that child of mine turned 10 a few days ago. 10!! Double digits...there's no going back from that one. It was the first year we didn't have a big jammin' party...not enough time! She will of course have the annual slumber party I could do with out in a few weeks...but of course all girls love their slumber parties!
My best friend from college should also have her baby by now...she was suppose to have a C-section the day of DDs birthday...isn't that funny?? Her first baby born on the day of my 1st baby...just 10 yrs apart! I can't wait to talk to her..and see the baby!
Thank god the new TV shows are back on too....there are only so many books one can read! I tend to be a bit obsessive with books...I kind of treat them like a race....keep reading until I'm done, nothing else gets done...except the essentials of course. I tend to obsess with my TV too...I either love a show or hate it. I don't just watch to fill the time...because well, I have no time! But this time of year it is fun to see some new shows...see if any meets my specifications...and if I can squeeze any into my already overbooked schedule. And I tend to like the cult shows...Buffy, Alias, Angel, etc... You know the ones the critics love but never seem to become as popular as those mindless, serial shows that play the same scenario over, and over, and over! Don't people get bored of those shows?? You know the CSIs, NYPD Blues, Law & Order...even sitcoms do it...Frazier, Raymond...yikes! If you've seen one...you've seen them all!!!!!!!
Currently I'm addicted to Grey's & Lost...I also like Gilmore Girls...Desperate Housewives I watch...but....I don't know...I fell obligated..hoping it will be as good as the first season...but did you folks see Heros?!?!? Awesome show!! Watch it! Best show of the year!!!!!!!!! Well so far anyway!!
Well off to pick up the little one (or is she now a big one?) from soccer practice...then an early night for me! With some TV of course!
Speaking of which that child of mine turned 10 a few days ago. 10!! Double digits...there's no going back from that one. It was the first year we didn't have a big jammin' party...not enough time! She will of course have the annual slumber party I could do with out in a few weeks...but of course all girls love their slumber parties!
My best friend from college should also have her baby by now...she was suppose to have a C-section the day of DDs birthday...isn't that funny?? Her first baby born on the day of my 1st baby...just 10 yrs apart! I can't wait to talk to her..and see the baby!
Thank god the new TV shows are back on too....there are only so many books one can read! I tend to be a bit obsessive with books...I kind of treat them like a race....keep reading until I'm done, nothing else gets done...except the essentials of course. I tend to obsess with my TV too...I either love a show or hate it. I don't just watch to fill the time...because well, I have no time! But this time of year it is fun to see some new shows...see if any meets my specifications...and if I can squeeze any into my already overbooked schedule. And I tend to like the cult shows...Buffy, Alias, Angel, etc... You know the ones the critics love but never seem to become as popular as those mindless, serial shows that play the same scenario over, and over, and over! Don't people get bored of those shows?? You know the CSIs, NYPD Blues, Law & Order...even sitcoms do it...Frazier, Raymond...yikes! If you've seen one...you've seen them all!!!!!!!
Currently I'm addicted to Grey's & Lost...I also like Gilmore Girls...Desperate Housewives I watch...but....I don't know...I fell obligated..hoping it will be as good as the first season...but did you folks see Heros?!?!? Awesome show!! Watch it! Best show of the year!!!!!!!!! Well so far anyway!!
Well off to pick up the little one (or is she now a big one?) from soccer practice...then an early night for me! With some TV of course!
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
On that subject.....
TMZ.com is posting a copy of the video of the "Bush Death". I don't understand why we as US citizens get so crazy about this stuff. I mean isn't it a free county? Aren't you allowed to make a movie about what you want. Oh..right..that was before Bush took office. I forgot!
I haven't seen the movie...doubt I will...figure it will give me nightmares because the only thing worse than Bush being president is Cheney being president!
I haven't seen the movie...doubt I will...figure it will give me nightmares because the only thing worse than Bush being president is Cheney being president!
As I said before.....
Bush lied. And now there a website that tracks all his lies one by one. Hope they aren't paying for the space! In this election year I hope people wake up and get rid of some of these idiots in office. I know I'll do my part to be sure Santorium is out of office. Remember to vote! Everyone! VOTE! Register now!!!
Monday, September 11, 2006
What is it with her and men?
I'm sure I've covered my mother in law in some post in the recent past. But at the risk of repeating myself she can be quite an idiot.
She is not the best judge of character...nor the best of judge of men.
When she first offered to watch SL (my DD) when I was pregnant, I actually wanted to put SL in daycare. After I had SL and watch the two of them together and how she loved her I thought what harm can come of MIL watching SL. She loved her with all her heart. She didn't do everything exactly as I wished and at times she was exhausting...but for the most part it was trivial things that I could overlook. Now fast forward 9 yrs....
My daughter is almost 10 yrs old and is by far the favorite grandchild on my husband's side. It's actually somewhat embarressing. Thank god this favoritism is shown to my child...because if I was my brother in law I would be furious with my mother. My child is the apple of her grandmother's eye but it comes with it's drawl backs...most of which stem from my mother in law's lack of self worth. The sun rises and sets on this girl...and I think it's a lot of pressure for her. Over the last few years I've tried to limit the enormous amount of time the two of them spent together because not only was it a lot of pressure for my daughter but because my MIL was starting to treat my daughter move like a friend than a grandchild.
Now to the men part... She has been married and divorced 3xs, with countless men in between. She definds her self by the company she keeps. God forbid if she was alone for a moment. She recently divorced number 3 for a married man. A man that has been married for 30+ years, owns several businesses, is quite sucessful and well off and has 2 adult sons. MIL divorced husband #3 for this guy...who is still with his wife...still wears the wedding ring and all. MIL is dumb enough to think he is going to leave his wife...but this man stands to lose everything in doing so. She is keeping tight lipped about their relationship at his request and because he is waiting for the "right time." .........Yeah, right!
Now guess how I know all this??? Not from her..NO!...Not from my brother in law or husband...NO!...from my daughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was ragging with so much anger when this was conveyed to me I was actually shaking when I picked up the phone. I knew she was seeing someone and I knew he was married but she is a grown women and I didn't want to get involved...unless it involved my child. I've told her on numerous occassions I don't want my daughter around people I don't know. I also told her I knew she was seeing a married man and while I'm not going to tell her what to do, I would not have it around my child. Guess what else I found out? He was been to MIL's house at least twice when SL was there and SL has been to his business and meant him several times!!!!!!!!!!!!
I called her and told her in no uncertain terms that first of all my daughter was not to be around anyone I didn't know. Secondly my daughter is her granddaughter not her girlfriend, and thirdly my daughter is not to be exposed to this kind of behavior. I proceed to tell her if she did not comply with my wishes she would no longer be watching my daughter...to this she said fine and hung up. If I could ever actually crawl thru a phone and strangle someone this had to be the moment. But you know what??? This is okay...I really didn't want SL to be with her.
Now this happen Friday a week ago and I haven't heard a word from MIL in over a week...until Sunday night. Sunday night when the phone rang and on the caller ID I saw her number...I almost didn't answer...but my curiousity got the best of me. And in her bubbly, like nothing happened voice I hear........." Hi M! I was wondering if I could take SL out to dinner tonight?"
To this I replied did we not just have a conversation about this a week ago and if I couldn't trust her...I couldn't trust her. That means no out to eat, no walks thru the mall, no Saturday afternoons at the pool unless myself or S was present. Throught the whole thing she just keeps yelling over me....over and over again..."Alright M, Alright M!"
This time I hung up.
I mean come on? Am I being unreasonable? She is my daughter. And you know what??? Who cares if I'm being unreasonable! It's my call! It's my kid! If I said she has to have pickles for breakfast and wear purple pants everyday than so be it.
I actually looked the guy's address up online. He was quite easy to find. I typed up a letter and addressed it to the Mrs. Man my MIL is have an affair with. I really wanted to send it. I really want this women to know. Isn't it only fair that she does? Wouldn't you want to know? But you know what? I didn't! I shredded the letter...I don't know..Would that qualify in the bad karma category? I don't need any bad karma. Or would not sending the letter be bad karma? God I don't know!!
She is not the best judge of character...nor the best of judge of men.
When she first offered to watch SL (my DD) when I was pregnant, I actually wanted to put SL in daycare. After I had SL and watch the two of them together and how she loved her I thought what harm can come of MIL watching SL. She loved her with all her heart. She didn't do everything exactly as I wished and at times she was exhausting...but for the most part it was trivial things that I could overlook. Now fast forward 9 yrs....
My daughter is almost 10 yrs old and is by far the favorite grandchild on my husband's side. It's actually somewhat embarressing. Thank god this favoritism is shown to my child...because if I was my brother in law I would be furious with my mother. My child is the apple of her grandmother's eye but it comes with it's drawl backs...most of which stem from my mother in law's lack of self worth. The sun rises and sets on this girl...and I think it's a lot of pressure for her. Over the last few years I've tried to limit the enormous amount of time the two of them spent together because not only was it a lot of pressure for my daughter but because my MIL was starting to treat my daughter move like a friend than a grandchild.
Now to the men part... She has been married and divorced 3xs, with countless men in between. She definds her self by the company she keeps. God forbid if she was alone for a moment. She recently divorced number 3 for a married man. A man that has been married for 30+ years, owns several businesses, is quite sucessful and well off and has 2 adult sons. MIL divorced husband #3 for this guy...who is still with his wife...still wears the wedding ring and all. MIL is dumb enough to think he is going to leave his wife...but this man stands to lose everything in doing so. She is keeping tight lipped about their relationship at his request and because he is waiting for the "right time." .........Yeah, right!
Now guess how I know all this??? Not from her..NO!...Not from my brother in law or husband...NO!...from my daughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was ragging with so much anger when this was conveyed to me I was actually shaking when I picked up the phone. I knew she was seeing someone and I knew he was married but she is a grown women and I didn't want to get involved...unless it involved my child. I've told her on numerous occassions I don't want my daughter around people I don't know. I also told her I knew she was seeing a married man and while I'm not going to tell her what to do, I would not have it around my child. Guess what else I found out? He was been to MIL's house at least twice when SL was there and SL has been to his business and meant him several times!!!!!!!!!!!!
I called her and told her in no uncertain terms that first of all my daughter was not to be around anyone I didn't know. Secondly my daughter is her granddaughter not her girlfriend, and thirdly my daughter is not to be exposed to this kind of behavior. I proceed to tell her if she did not comply with my wishes she would no longer be watching my daughter...to this she said fine and hung up. If I could ever actually crawl thru a phone and strangle someone this had to be the moment. But you know what??? This is okay...I really didn't want SL to be with her.
Now this happen Friday a week ago and I haven't heard a word from MIL in over a week...until Sunday night. Sunday night when the phone rang and on the caller ID I saw her number...I almost didn't answer...but my curiousity got the best of me. And in her bubbly, like nothing happened voice I hear........." Hi M! I was wondering if I could take SL out to dinner tonight?"
To this I replied did we not just have a conversation about this a week ago and if I couldn't trust her...I couldn't trust her. That means no out to eat, no walks thru the mall, no Saturday afternoons at the pool unless myself or S was present. Throught the whole thing she just keeps yelling over me....over and over again..."Alright M, Alright M!"
This time I hung up.
I mean come on? Am I being unreasonable? She is my daughter. And you know what??? Who cares if I'm being unreasonable! It's my call! It's my kid! If I said she has to have pickles for breakfast and wear purple pants everyday than so be it.
I actually looked the guy's address up online. He was quite easy to find. I typed up a letter and addressed it to the Mrs. Man my MIL is have an affair with. I really wanted to send it. I really want this women to know. Isn't it only fair that she does? Wouldn't you want to know? But you know what? I didn't! I shredded the letter...I don't know..Would that qualify in the bad karma category? I don't need any bad karma. Or would not sending the letter be bad karma? God I don't know!!
Friday, September 08, 2006
News and updates! LID!!!
Today we finally got word that we have a LID of 8/17/06!! Yeah! Now we get to wait oh...what is it now?? 13 mos and maybe upwards of 2 yrs to have a baby. Not like I haven't waited long enough!
As of now, the thought of the wait doesn't bother me too much. Kind of weird huh? I guess it is because I know there is an end in sight...at the end of this long journey I'll have another baby girl. It excites me and terrifies me all at the same time.
As I was sitting outside this evening with some of my neighbors and the kids...I was thanking god my daughter is almost 10 and I don't have to be running around after screaming kids...kids crying because this one is riding the pink bike, or because they didn't catch the ball the same number of times as that one...I didn't have to yell..."NO STREET!" Or "Don't push her down on the sidewalk." I just sat there...loving it all.
Wow! Life is easy and I'm giving it up. Strange huh? Plus at this point and time I want to KILL ....yes KILL my husband..but I'm okay being a single parent with two kids! But that is a story for another day!
By the way.......I've actually attempted to post two or three different times over the past week and each one has been eaten up in cyper space...had a great one last Friday about my darling mother in law...she has been officially fired as a babysitter and will no longer spend alone time with my daughter but that will be yet another story for another day. I'm tired. Time to veg in front of the TV!
As of now, the thought of the wait doesn't bother me too much. Kind of weird huh? I guess it is because I know there is an end in sight...at the end of this long journey I'll have another baby girl. It excites me and terrifies me all at the same time.
As I was sitting outside this evening with some of my neighbors and the kids...I was thanking god my daughter is almost 10 and I don't have to be running around after screaming kids...kids crying because this one is riding the pink bike, or because they didn't catch the ball the same number of times as that one...I didn't have to yell..."NO STREET!" Or "Don't push her down on the sidewalk." I just sat there...loving it all.
Wow! Life is easy and I'm giving it up. Strange huh? Plus at this point and time I want to KILL ....yes KILL my husband..but I'm okay being a single parent with two kids! But that is a story for another day!
By the way.......I've actually attempted to post two or three different times over the past week and each one has been eaten up in cyper space...had a great one last Friday about my darling mother in law...she has been officially fired as a babysitter and will no longer spend alone time with my daughter but that will be yet another story for another day. I'm tired. Time to veg in front of the TV!
Saturday, August 26, 2006
It's now confirmed......
I am old. DD had a soccer tournament today...continuing into tomorrow. First of all it was PAINFUL to watch. They did horrible. Trully horrible. I can't believe it was our girls out there...but that is another story. I did nothing but stand on the side lines and watch and I'm exhausted..feet and back hurt, I could go to bed a sleep right now. Oh..and I'm hoarse from screaming...because that is what I do best...side line coach! But DD is at a sleep-over..she is partying after playing 5 games..I have toothpicks holding open my eyes...and she is partying. I have to stay up till at least 9:30..because since the tournament is tomorrow too she can't sleep over and I have to go pick her up early. Bed is calling my name but I have 3 more hours...I'm old!
Thursday, August 24, 2006
I must be getting old
Really, I am. What else could explain the resistance to the time change?? I could go to bed right now. I've been back to work for two days and have offically gotten nothing done...really, nothing...zip, nada, nothing. I've unpacked one suitcase...the other is still sitting in my room. I haven't cooked dinner since I've been home. Haven't down loaded a picture or given a gift I bought. S and DD are out right now...and you know what I had for dinner? Wine, pretzel chips and cheese...how sad is that? And a piece or two of Moose Munch. Seriously..if you haven't had it...you don't know what you are missing.
Since I've been home I've had pizza, a cheese steak, hoagie and Mexican. Why? Because the food sucks in England. They serve fries with everything..and you know what?? The fries aren't good! If you serve that many fries...you would think you would have it down to a science!
God I need to stop complaining! I need to go to bed...I need to stay up...help! I'm a baby...need to sleep!
Since I've been home I've had pizza, a cheese steak, hoagie and Mexican. Why? Because the food sucks in England. They serve fries with everything..and you know what?? The fries aren't good! If you serve that many fries...you would think you would have it down to a science!
God I need to stop complaining! I need to go to bed...I need to stay up...help! I'm a baby...need to sleep!
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
I'm back!
Wow! What a trip. It was good. It was so good to see my sister and her family. My little nephews are too cute...especially the little one. The older one...well some times I could have strangled him, but what can you expect with a 4 yr old! I could have also strangled my DD a few times too...
I'm tired. My clock says 7:00pm but I could easily go right upstairs and go to sleep right now. I've adjusted to the 5 hr time difference too well. To me it feels to be about 10:00.
I have so much to write about but no energy at the moment. We saw a lot considering we had 3 kids in tow. I would have loved to get to Ireland but overnighters were just too difficult for them. I understand and I got to see things I'm sure I never would have seen otherwise. And I got to spend time with my sister!!
I did get caught up in all that terrorist stuff coming and going to the airport...especially the landing in Heathrow...we didn't know what was going on. We were held on the tarmac for over an hour. Pilot tolds us nothing. It wasn't till I gathered my bags and met my sister did I get any idea as to what was going on. My husband was panicked...which he tends to do anyway...this just validated it!
My sister had a heck of a time getting to the airport to get us. They were making everyone leave and cancelling most of the flights that day. I think we were lucky to get in when we did. By the time we left this Monday things were better but it still took a good 3 hrs to get thru the airport. Luckily I gave myself 4 hrs or I'm sure I would have been stressed, worrying about missin my flight.
I think the pups were the happiest to see me even though S would swear he was. They say dogs don't remember. The are creatures of the present. But 2 of them were so excited to see me that they actually wet themselves. And to think I was actually touched by this...as I write it now it just sounds gross!
I hoped by the time I got home I would have a LID date...still nothing. From I've been told we are probably logged in...just my agency hasn't gotten the info as of yet.
All I can say is if the flight to China is 20 plus hours I'm going to kill myself. 8 hrs on a plane was bad enough. I'm sure I'll be divorced by the end of that flight!
More later...but for now I have a date with a pillow!
I'm tired. My clock says 7:00pm but I could easily go right upstairs and go to sleep right now. I've adjusted to the 5 hr time difference too well. To me it feels to be about 10:00.
I have so much to write about but no energy at the moment. We saw a lot considering we had 3 kids in tow. I would have loved to get to Ireland but overnighters were just too difficult for them. I understand and I got to see things I'm sure I never would have seen otherwise. And I got to spend time with my sister!!
I did get caught up in all that terrorist stuff coming and going to the airport...especially the landing in Heathrow...we didn't know what was going on. We were held on the tarmac for over an hour. Pilot tolds us nothing. It wasn't till I gathered my bags and met my sister did I get any idea as to what was going on. My husband was panicked...which he tends to do anyway...this just validated it!
My sister had a heck of a time getting to the airport to get us. They were making everyone leave and cancelling most of the flights that day. I think we were lucky to get in when we did. By the time we left this Monday things were better but it still took a good 3 hrs to get thru the airport. Luckily I gave myself 4 hrs or I'm sure I would have been stressed, worrying about missin my flight.
I think the pups were the happiest to see me even though S would swear he was. They say dogs don't remember. The are creatures of the present. But 2 of them were so excited to see me that they actually wet themselves. And to think I was actually touched by this...as I write it now it just sounds gross!
I hoped by the time I got home I would have a LID date...still nothing. From I've been told we are probably logged in...just my agency hasn't gotten the info as of yet.
All I can say is if the flight to China is 20 plus hours I'm going to kill myself. 8 hrs on a plane was bad enough. I'm sure I'll be divorced by the end of that flight!
More later...but for now I have a date with a pillow!
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
I'm outta here!
This is it..I'm out of here. Won't be posting, emailing or blogging till 8/22/06...Wow! Almost 2 wks! Of course, while I'm gone, I'm sure two very important things will happen....one..I'll get my LID! Yeah! And two...DD will get her room assignment for school. She is less than pleased that she won't be able to call her friends to find out who is in whose class. I guess she will survive.
She had a bit of an emotional break down last night. She is nervous, going to miss dad, the dogs etc.... Darling dad also made illusion to flying over the vast Atlantic Ocean. Sometimes he really is an idiot. I was charging up the video camera and pointing at DD's direction and asked her is she was excited about going...as I zoomed in she says, and I quote..."Mommy, what if she crash? Will we die?"
Of course we would die..but I didn't say that. I told her not to worry about things that won't happen and of course we couldn't change anyway...gee thanks S!
Also took a Xanax the doctor gave me for the flight (doctor is a friend)...just to see what it would do to me, I didn't want to be wondering around the international terminal at PHL with DD in tow all high not knowing how I would be effected...trial run! ...guess what it did!??! Not a damn thing. Of course it is the lowest dosage but geez...maybe I need to be on a permanent supply of Xanax. I called said friend...who laughed and said she figured it wouldn't as I can be a bit of an anxious person...her advice you ask? Take two! And drink a glass of wine!
Obviously my sister has internet connection. But I doubt I'll be using it beyond checking emails here and there. So I'm off...have fun everyone! I will!!
She had a bit of an emotional break down last night. She is nervous, going to miss dad, the dogs etc.... Darling dad also made illusion to flying over the vast Atlantic Ocean. Sometimes he really is an idiot. I was charging up the video camera and pointing at DD's direction and asked her is she was excited about going...as I zoomed in she says, and I quote..."Mommy, what if she crash? Will we die?"
Of course we would die..but I didn't say that. I told her not to worry about things that won't happen and of course we couldn't change anyway...gee thanks S!
Also took a Xanax the doctor gave me for the flight (doctor is a friend)...just to see what it would do to me, I didn't want to be wondering around the international terminal at PHL with DD in tow all high not knowing how I would be effected...trial run! ...guess what it did!??! Not a damn thing. Of course it is the lowest dosage but geez...maybe I need to be on a permanent supply of Xanax. I called said friend...who laughed and said she figured it wouldn't as I can be a bit of an anxious person...her advice you ask? Take two! And drink a glass of wine!
Obviously my sister has internet connection. But I doubt I'll be using it beyond checking emails here and there. So I'm off...have fun everyone! I will!!
Monday, August 07, 2006
Bush lied!
Hopefully that isn't news to you...if it is, please close this blog and walk away...you are not welcomed here. Awesome comic by Doonesbury. It's so sad to think people actually voted for the jack ass....I still cuss at every car I see with Ohio plates (sorry if I cussed at you and you voted for Kerry, I should not make asumptions...but in my mind Ohio cost Kerry the election), Even bigger idiots here in the US think Iraq had WMD.... Wake up America!! We have bombed the crap out of Iraq and we still haven't found any WMD.
God I try to stay blissfully ignorant of all this crap...it's way too depressing to follow the world news anymore...or the local news for that matter...Philadelphia's murder rate is out of control. But this is not a political blog...but it is my blog to express my opinions as I feel fit. CONSERATIVE BUSH LOVERS STAY OUT!!
Hee Hee...I just read the last line again...and it sounds like porn!!!!
God I try to stay blissfully ignorant of all this crap...it's way too depressing to follow the world news anymore...or the local news for that matter...Philadelphia's murder rate is out of control. But this is not a political blog...but it is my blog to express my opinions as I feel fit. CONSERATIVE BUSH LOVERS STAY OUT!!
Hee Hee...I just read the last line again...and it sounds like porn!!!!
Saturday, August 05, 2006
WOW! I'm going to England!
I think it has finally sunk in! I'm going to England with my daughter to visit my sister and her family...I leave Wednesday night! I'm so excited!! I haven't seen my sister or my nephews since Christmas. The littlest one was only 3 mos at the time. I'm sure he has changed so much.
My sister and I are 6 yrs apart. When she was just a baby..I thought she was the coolest thing...a real live baby doll. But at about the age of 2 she just annoyed the crap out of me. I don't think I really started to appreciate her again till she was about 16 and I was 22. I remember teaching her to drive stick...giving advice about boys, schools and friends.
I'm told by my younger siblings that I tend to be too mothering...I try to hold back on that instinct now.... that I'm aware of it...but it's difficult. I guess it is part of my personality...part of what I had to do because my parents insisted I care for my siblings too. So bro & sis don't just blame me...it's Mom & Dad's fault too!
I think back now and I cringe. I remember being left at 9 yrs of age to watch both my brother and sister. I look at my daughter who is 9 and can't imagine giving her that kind of responsibility. I'm proud right now because she actually asked to vacuum her room this morning and she managed not to suck anything up into the vacuum! I guess times are different, but I also think my parents were a bit crazy!
So I'm off to pack for my trip to England. I can't believe it's happening. I have to get so much done in the next 4 days. Shopping so S. doesn't starve...hope he remembers to feed the dogs...hope he remembers to give the medication to the old girl! I'm sure the vacuum won't be run or the floor won't be swept the entire time I'm gone! The dog hair! Yikes!
So I guess I better get moving and stop blogging!!
My sister and I are 6 yrs apart. When she was just a baby..I thought she was the coolest thing...a real live baby doll. But at about the age of 2 she just annoyed the crap out of me. I don't think I really started to appreciate her again till she was about 16 and I was 22. I remember teaching her to drive stick...giving advice about boys, schools and friends.
I'm told by my younger siblings that I tend to be too mothering...I try to hold back on that instinct now.... that I'm aware of it...but it's difficult. I guess it is part of my personality...part of what I had to do because my parents insisted I care for my siblings too. So bro & sis don't just blame me...it's Mom & Dad's fault too!
I think back now and I cringe. I remember being left at 9 yrs of age to watch both my brother and sister. I look at my daughter who is 9 and can't imagine giving her that kind of responsibility. I'm proud right now because she actually asked to vacuum her room this morning and she managed not to suck anything up into the vacuum! I guess times are different, but I also think my parents were a bit crazy!
So I'm off to pack for my trip to England. I can't believe it's happening. I have to get so much done in the next 4 days. Shopping so S. doesn't starve...hope he remembers to feed the dogs...hope he remembers to give the medication to the old girl! I'm sure the vacuum won't be run or the floor won't be swept the entire time I'm gone! The dog hair! Yikes!
So I guess I better get moving and stop blogging!!
Friday, August 04, 2006
This makes me sick!
It makes me so sad and so sick...there are various reports about thousands if not millions of dogs being killed in China because of a rabies outbreak. They are even killing the dogs that received the immunizations...in case the injections don't work! Only police and military dogs were spared. They beat most of the dogs to death..many in front of their owners... And then are paid the equivalent of $.62!!!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/5244304.stm
I just can't believe this stuff goes on.
It really leads me to think things I rather not. I don't want to make assumption about the lack of regard for life...animal..dog...human...girl. But god this just isn't right. I can't even imagine. It makes me want to throw up and cry at the same time. I think I'll go home and hug my daughter and my dogs extra hard tonight!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/5244304.stm
I just can't believe this stuff goes on.
It really leads me to think things I rather not. I don't want to make assumption about the lack of regard for life...animal..dog...human...girl. But god this just isn't right. I can't even imagine. It makes me want to throw up and cry at the same time. I think I'll go home and hug my daughter and my dogs extra hard tonight!
Weekend to do list
My weekend to do list.......
FRIDAY
1. Pick DD up from friends after work
2. Rush home and get changed for UK Elite Soccer Camp
3. Sit at camp from 5-8:30 in the 100 degree heat
4. Cook dinner and be sure DD takes a shower
5. At some point take dogs out and feed them
6. Crash in bed!
SATURDAY
1. Go to store and attempt to purchase items needed for trip
2. Pack
3. Clean house, do laundry, errands, wash dogs
4. Go to grocery store so S. has food for the week
5. Take DD to a party at 4:00
6. 8:00 go to DD's friends house to help her mom and my friend K. with 10 screaming 9 yr olds...do hair wraps for the girls...hopefully have a few glasses of wine!
SUNDAY
Not yet determined...but I'm sure it will consist of doing all the things that I didn't get accomplished on Saturday. The one sure thing...pick DD up from sleep over!
FRIDAY
1. Pick DD up from friends after work
2. Rush home and get changed for UK Elite Soccer Camp
3. Sit at camp from 5-8:30 in the 100 degree heat
4. Cook dinner and be sure DD takes a shower
5. At some point take dogs out and feed them
6. Crash in bed!
SATURDAY
1. Go to store and attempt to purchase items needed for trip
2. Pack
3. Clean house, do laundry, errands, wash dogs
4. Go to grocery store so S. has food for the week
5. Take DD to a party at 4:00
6. 8:00 go to DD's friends house to help her mom and my friend K. with 10 screaming 9 yr olds...do hair wraps for the girls...hopefully have a few glasses of wine!
SUNDAY
Not yet determined...but I'm sure it will consist of doing all the things that I didn't get accomplished on Saturday. The one sure thing...pick DD up from sleep over!
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