What is it with her and men?

I'm sure I've covered my mother in law in some post in the recent past. But at the risk of repeating myself she can be quite an idiot.

She is not the best judge of character...nor the best of judge of men.

When she first offered to watch SL (my DD) when I was pregnant, I actually wanted to put SL in daycare. After I had SL and watch the two of them together and how she loved her I thought what harm can come of MIL watching SL. She loved her with all her heart. She didn't do everything exactly as I wished and at times she was exhausting...but for the most part it was trivial things that I could overlook. Now fast forward 9 yrs....

My daughter is almost 10 yrs old and is by far the favorite grandchild on my husband's side. It's actually somewhat embarressing. Thank god this favoritism is shown to my child...because if I was my brother in law I would be furious with my mother. My child is the apple of her grandmother's eye but it comes with it's drawl backs...most of which stem from my mother in law's lack of self worth. The sun rises and sets on this girl...and I think it's a lot of pressure for her. Over the last few years I've tried to limit the enormous amount of time the two of them spent together because not only was it a lot of pressure for my daughter but because my MIL was starting to treat my daughter move like a friend than a grandchild.

Now to the men part... She has been married and divorced 3xs, with countless men in between. She definds her self by the company she keeps. God forbid if she was alone for a moment. She recently divorced number 3 for a married man. A man that has been married for 30+ years, owns several businesses, is quite sucessful and well off and has 2 adult sons. MIL divorced husband #3 for this guy...who is still with his wife...still wears the wedding ring and all. MIL is dumb enough to think he is going to leave his wife...but this man stands to lose everything in doing so. She is keeping tight lipped about their relationship at his request and because he is waiting for the "right time." .........Yeah, right!

Now guess how I know all this??? Not from her..NO!...Not from my brother in law or husband...NO!...from my daughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was ragging with so much anger when this was conveyed to me I was actually shaking when I picked up the phone. I knew she was seeing someone and I knew he was married but she is a grown women and I didn't want to get involved...unless it involved my child. I've told her on numerous occassions I don't want my daughter around people I don't know. I also told her I knew she was seeing a married man and while I'm not going to tell her what to do, I would not have it around my child. Guess what else I found out? He was been to MIL's house at least twice when SL was there and SL has been to his business and meant him several times!!!!!!!!!!!!

I called her and told her in no uncertain terms that first of all my daughter was not to be around anyone I didn't know. Secondly my daughter is her granddaughter not her girlfriend, and thirdly my daughter is not to be exposed to this kind of behavior. I proceed to tell her if she did not comply with my wishes she would no longer be watching my daughter...to this she said fine and hung up. If I could ever actually crawl thru a phone and strangle someone this had to be the moment. But you know what??? This is okay...I really didn't want SL to be with her.

Now this happen Friday a week ago and I haven't heard a word from MIL in over a week...until Sunday night. Sunday night when the phone rang and on the caller ID I saw her number...I almost didn't answer...but my curiousity got the best of me. And in her bubbly, like nothing happened voice I hear........." Hi M! I was wondering if I could take SL out to dinner tonight?"

To this I replied did we not just have a conversation about this a week ago and if I couldn't trust her...I couldn't trust her. That means no out to eat, no walks thru the mall, no Saturday afternoons at the pool unless myself or S was present. Throught the whole thing she just keeps yelling over me....over and over again..."Alright M, Alright M!"

This time I hung up.

I mean come on? Am I being unreasonable? She is my daughter. And you know what??? Who cares if I'm being unreasonable! It's my call! It's my kid! If I said she has to have pickles for breakfast and wear purple pants everyday than so be it.

I actually looked the guy's address up online. He was quite easy to find. I typed up a letter and addressed it to the Mrs. Man my MIL is have an affair with. I really wanted to send it. I really want this women to know. Isn't it only fair that she does? Wouldn't you want to know? But you know what? I didn't! I shredded the letter...I don't know..Would that qualify in the bad karma category? I don't need any bad karma. Or would not sending the letter be bad karma? God I don't know!!