I'm back complaining again. Rarely do I blog when I have something positive to say.
My MIL has been married and divorced 3 times. She is currently carrying on with a married man. I am lucky enough that I have only witnessed the last marriage and affair. My husband...god I don't know how he has done it..or how he or his brother are as normal as they are....has had it with her. He is "done" as he says. Seriously the women had to be dropped on her head as a child.
I really think she married number 3 because both of her sons were getting married. She felt left out. When she married number 3 we were all very confused as to why. Her reason??? Not because she loved him..but because at the age of 50, he had never been married, lived at home his whole life and his mother wanted to see him get married before she died. WTF!?!?! To me that would be a HUGE red flag...WARNING...unmarried, 50 yr old, lives at home with mohter...WARNING...RUN! RUN AWAY! Seriously this women treats relationships like I treat shoes...actually I think I get more wear out of my shoes.
She married S's dad when she was young...typical story. Bad boy from the other side of the tracks knocks girl up because family didn't approve of the relationship and they thought it was the only way to be together. Fast forward 10 yrs it's an abusive, drunk fest with a revolving door of affairs....for both of them. Divorce happens...MIL's family...who is a wealthy Mainline family is very happy. Now maybe she can "marry up." Mind you MIL has no money...the only one in the family that doesn't. No education and very few brain cells....hence the dropped on the head statement above. But the fortunate thing for her is that she is a very attractive women. And a ditz...is that even a word?? I tell her she is a true blond and she giggles...like it's a compliment.
Fast forward....S's mom meets new man with money...but not the kind of money the family wants...not old money but money from quick stocks trades...but hey it's money so they are a bit more accepting. She quickly marries and lives a "good" life. Multiple homes, multiple cars etc.... Fast forward yet again. Boredom sets in...she leaves...for what reason?? No one really knows...this is when I enter the picture. I meet husband number 3....fat, lazy, poor, unattractive (lives at home with mother!!)..doesn't fit with the others. As I said above...she has now kicked him to the curb too. Onto #4...But this guy is married, 2 adult sons...architect...owns his own firm....MIL thinks he is going to leave his wife that he has been married to for 30 yrs for her. Multiple homes, rich, race cars....he has too much too lose...she is too stupid to see it. This is such a case of...as my father has said...and I can't even believe I am saying this..."Why buy the cow when the milk is free?"
I'm now cringing with embarrassment over this statement...but god it's so true and she just doesn't see it!!!!!
Now this has added to the drama in my life because she thinks my nine year old daughter is her friend as opposed to her granddaughter. She also takes a new job working 3-11 so she can have her days free to spend with this married man. See...if wifey thinks he is at work...he can visit her at her new town house. I find out...well today. Now I'm scrambling for childcare for my DD...lovely mother in law thinks it's okay for her to spend time with the two of them!!!!!!!!!!! Or alone in the house for the two hours till I get home from work. Seriously I think I hate the women. I know it's probably not a bad thing this has happened. I've often thought my daughter should not be spending much time with this women. But god...3 days notice...in the summer! What am I to do!!!!???
I'm so glad we have decided when our new daughter gets home from China that we will do daycare......I can't subject any child to this!!!!!!!!! I can't believe I've subjected DD to this. I guess I didn't, until recently think it was this bad. Someone needs to smack her!
Monday, July 31, 2006
Friday, July 28, 2006
I love dogs!
I love dogs...really I do. I have two shih tzus...one I purchased as a puppy from a reputable breeder (Lily), the next from a rescue group (Maggie). I've always had dogs, they were always rescued and they were always large! So getting Lily was a shock..and there was a lot of guilt involved. My DD was 7 when we got Lily and unfortunately many rescue groups won't even consider you if you have a child of that age....at least with small dogs...yes you can get a Pitt Bull but no small dogs for you! And I get it on some level. There are many of DD's friends I could kill...get your grimy little hands off my dog...she is a dog not a doll! Maggie would bite them if they pulled that crap with her. But DD wasn't your normal 7 yr old..she was great with dogs. She was a cautious, careful child that had been around dogs of all sizes since birth. She was a dog girl!
The guilt that surround Lily didn't only involve her purchase. You see we had two dogs...a boxer (Mattie) and a lab (Sandy), both rescued. We had to briefly stay with my MIL when we were having our house built. We brought both dogs with us to stay at her house for our 5 months of hell. Well they were older at the time, Mattie was 10, Sandy was 8. While staying at MIL's house, Sandy went blind...but we never noticed. When we moved to our new home and had enough grass so the dogs wouldn't trash the entire house we brought our dogs to our new home. Only to have Sandy...who was always the brightest, most well behaved, easy going dog, pee all over the house and walk into walls...suddenly we realized she was blind. When it happened, we didn't know...but she was confused. Thankfully MIL wanted to bring the dogs back to her house and she did. A little over a year later, Sandy had to be put to sleep. DD held her in her arms as she passed away. It was one of the most difficult things I ever had to do in my entire life. I still get teary eyed when I think about it.
So we decided to bring Mattie back to live with us... which did for about a month. Then we went on vacation and MIL dog sat as she always did. When we returned she wouldn't give us Mattie back. She stated that the month that Mattie was gone, her dog had an episode of depression. He went from being one of 3 dogs...to the only dog in the house. She claimed she was home most of the day and could look out for our old dog. So we let her stay...and she encouraged us to get another dog of our own. So finally we did.
After a lot of research we decide on a shih tzu. A far cry for the larger dogs of the past. After several month of trying to get a dog from a rescue group and being passed over time and time again I started to research breeders. I found one I felt comfortable with in Hazelton, Pa. She had great references and she had 2 dogs that couldn't be placed as show dogs. One had an eye injury the other was partially deaf. We decided on the deaf one! I don't want to minimize my love for any dog I've owned...but Lily was the love of my doggie life! She is a sweetheart! Shortly there after I decided we need another....I always liked dogs in pairs...and I think they enjoy the company too! It was almost 10 months to the day when I saw the add for Maggie on Petfinder. DD had turned the magical age of 8 (It is the magic year for some rescue groups) and we drove to Harrisburg to get Maggie. Maggie was a difficult dog at first, and that is a story all it's own. She was full of fear, anxiety and aggression...but that has disappeared (for the most part) over that past year. Now she is a little sweetheart too!
Well now MIL is divorcing her 3rd husband (that story for another day!) and we have to take Mattie back...which I don't mind after all she is our dog. But had I known...maybe I would have thought a little harder about adding that second dog. Of course I love them all and would never give any of them up. But god! 3 dogs!! And Mattie...she is now 13 or 14, we really don't know which and Boxers don't live this long...according to every vet I've ever seen. Boxers in double digits are rare, boxers pushing middle double digit are a miracle! Maggie and Lily aren't adjusting real well...we have had a few accidents in the house...which of course we didn't discover till they dried nicely into the carpet...and well it's just too many dogs! I've now baby gated the entire house so the dogs can only be in the kitchen and family room.
You know I feel like I've become on of "those people." Those gross people with too many pets. There are little itty bitty black hairs all over the house....part of the reason I chose shih tzus are because they don't shed. I'm vacuuming daily...wiping spit off the walls...(boxers drool...not as bad as bull dogs but they drool). I've forgotten how big of a mess Mattie can be! But don't get me wrong I love the old girl...3 dogs! Yikes!!!
It has only been a few days....god I hope it gets easier!
The guilt that surround Lily didn't only involve her purchase. You see we had two dogs...a boxer (Mattie) and a lab (Sandy), both rescued. We had to briefly stay with my MIL when we were having our house built. We brought both dogs with us to stay at her house for our 5 months of hell. Well they were older at the time, Mattie was 10, Sandy was 8. While staying at MIL's house, Sandy went blind...but we never noticed. When we moved to our new home and had enough grass so the dogs wouldn't trash the entire house we brought our dogs to our new home. Only to have Sandy...who was always the brightest, most well behaved, easy going dog, pee all over the house and walk into walls...suddenly we realized she was blind. When it happened, we didn't know...but she was confused. Thankfully MIL wanted to bring the dogs back to her house and she did. A little over a year later, Sandy had to be put to sleep. DD held her in her arms as she passed away. It was one of the most difficult things I ever had to do in my entire life. I still get teary eyed when I think about it.
So we decided to bring Mattie back to live with us... which did for about a month. Then we went on vacation and MIL dog sat as she always did. When we returned she wouldn't give us Mattie back. She stated that the month that Mattie was gone, her dog had an episode of depression. He went from being one of 3 dogs...to the only dog in the house. She claimed she was home most of the day and could look out for our old dog. So we let her stay...and she encouraged us to get another dog of our own. So finally we did.
After a lot of research we decide on a shih tzu. A far cry for the larger dogs of the past. After several month of trying to get a dog from a rescue group and being passed over time and time again I started to research breeders. I found one I felt comfortable with in Hazelton, Pa. She had great references and she had 2 dogs that couldn't be placed as show dogs. One had an eye injury the other was partially deaf. We decided on the deaf one! I don't want to minimize my love for any dog I've owned...but Lily was the love of my doggie life! She is a sweetheart! Shortly there after I decided we need another....I always liked dogs in pairs...and I think they enjoy the company too! It was almost 10 months to the day when I saw the add for Maggie on Petfinder. DD had turned the magical age of 8 (It is the magic year for some rescue groups) and we drove to Harrisburg to get Maggie. Maggie was a difficult dog at first, and that is a story all it's own. She was full of fear, anxiety and aggression...but that has disappeared (for the most part) over that past year. Now she is a little sweetheart too!
Well now MIL is divorcing her 3rd husband (that story for another day!) and we have to take Mattie back...which I don't mind after all she is our dog. But had I known...maybe I would have thought a little harder about adding that second dog. Of course I love them all and would never give any of them up. But god! 3 dogs!! And Mattie...she is now 13 or 14, we really don't know which and Boxers don't live this long...according to every vet I've ever seen. Boxers in double digits are rare, boxers pushing middle double digit are a miracle! Maggie and Lily aren't adjusting real well...we have had a few accidents in the house...which of course we didn't discover till they dried nicely into the carpet...and well it's just too many dogs! I've now baby gated the entire house so the dogs can only be in the kitchen and family room.
You know I feel like I've become on of "those people." Those gross people with too many pets. There are little itty bitty black hairs all over the house....part of the reason I chose shih tzus are because they don't shed. I'm vacuuming daily...wiping spit off the walls...(boxers drool...not as bad as bull dogs but they drool). I've forgotten how big of a mess Mattie can be! But don't get me wrong I love the old girl...3 dogs! Yikes!!!
It has only been a few days....god I hope it gets easier!
Friday, July 21, 2006
I've been tagged!
A friend of mine sent me this email...and now I've been tagged. Anyone else reading this has now been tagged as well...post it to your blog or send it to 5 of your closest friends!
How well do you know me?? For instance, did you
know...
Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Waitress
2. Bartender
3. Intake Casemanager for the Department of Welfare
4. Auditor
Four movies I would watch over & over:
1. Weird Science
2. Any of the Indiana Jones Movies
3. Breakfast Club
4. Top Gun (Even though I now hate Tom Cruise..I may have to rethink that one!)
Four T. V. shows I love to watch
1. Lost
2. Veronica Mars
3. Grey's Anatomy
4. So You Think You Can Dance? (I usually hate reality TV!)
Four places I have been on Vacation: I've actually been to way too many to list here...but here are my fav vacations memories....
1. St. Thomas
2. Cancun Mexico
3. Disney World Orlando Fl, with my daugther!
4. OBX with my friends
Four Websites I visit daily: God..there are sooo many...but here is where I spend most of my time
1. The Superficial
2. Google...hundreds of times a day!
3. Yahoo...hundreds of times a day!
4. My fav blogs listed to the right.
Four of my favorite foods:
1. Shell fish...almost any kind!
2. Ice Cream
3. Cheese
4. Tiramisu
Four of my favorite beverages:
1. Water
2. Wine
3. Starbucks coffee
4. Iced Tea
I swear I'm not an alcoholic!
Four foods I hate:
1. Root beer & cream sodas
2. Black licorice
3. Any organ meat
4. Anything cherry flavored...cherry candies, cherry pie, cherry soda...etc.. but I love actually fresh cherries.
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. At the beach
2. In bed!
3. At the mall!
4. On vacation!
Four favorite stores:
1. Nordstroms
2. Target
3. Gap
4. Marshalls/TJ Maxx
Four pets I have owned:
1. Dogs
2. Cats
3. Horse
4. Rabbit
Four places I have lived:
1. Ft. Pierce FL
2. West Chester PA
3. Millerstown PA
4. Phoenixville PA
Four things I hate:
1. Birds (I really hate birds...I love all animals BUT birds..I even like snakes!! Well I do like birds of prey..because they kill other birds!)
2. Close talkers
3. Private/personal people...what the fuck are you hiding!?!? And people who are ALWAYS RIGHT...don't have an open mind....you know annoying people!
4. Right winged conseratives....especially religious ones!
Okay...so I've exceed my four on the HATE..but really I could think of about 20 more...sad huh? I've tried to group them together a bit.
Four cars I've owned
1. Datsun 260Z
2. Ford Mustang Convertible
3. Mitsubishi Galant
4. Ford Explorer (which I love but can't afford to drive anymore!)
You've been tagged...there are a few more questions I may add later...but really...I have to go back to work now.
How well do you know me?? For instance, did you
know...
Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Waitress
2. Bartender
3. Intake Casemanager for the Department of Welfare
4. Auditor
Four movies I would watch over & over:
1. Weird Science
2. Any of the Indiana Jones Movies
3. Breakfast Club
4. Top Gun (Even though I now hate Tom Cruise..I may have to rethink that one!)
Four T. V. shows I love to watch
1. Lost
2. Veronica Mars
3. Grey's Anatomy
4. So You Think You Can Dance? (I usually hate reality TV!)
Four places I have been on Vacation: I've actually been to way too many to list here...but here are my fav vacations memories....
1. St. Thomas
2. Cancun Mexico
3. Disney World Orlando Fl, with my daugther!
4. OBX with my friends
Four Websites I visit daily: God..there are sooo many...but here is where I spend most of my time
1. The Superficial
2. Google...hundreds of times a day!
3. Yahoo...hundreds of times a day!
4. My fav blogs listed to the right.
Four of my favorite foods:
1. Shell fish...almost any kind!
2. Ice Cream
3. Cheese
4. Tiramisu
Four of my favorite beverages:
1. Water
2. Wine
3. Starbucks coffee
4. Iced Tea
I swear I'm not an alcoholic!
Four foods I hate:
1. Root beer & cream sodas
2. Black licorice
3. Any organ meat
4. Anything cherry flavored...cherry candies, cherry pie, cherry soda...etc.. but I love actually fresh cherries.
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. At the beach
2. In bed!
3. At the mall!
4. On vacation!
Four favorite stores:
1. Nordstroms
2. Target
3. Gap
4. Marshalls/TJ Maxx
Four pets I have owned:
1. Dogs
2. Cats
3. Horse
4. Rabbit
Four places I have lived:
1. Ft. Pierce FL
2. West Chester PA
3. Millerstown PA
4. Phoenixville PA
Four things I hate:
1. Birds (I really hate birds...I love all animals BUT birds..I even like snakes!! Well I do like birds of prey..because they kill other birds!)
2. Close talkers
3. Private/personal people...what the fuck are you hiding!?!? And people who are ALWAYS RIGHT...don't have an open mind....you know annoying people!
4. Right winged conseratives....especially religious ones!
Okay...so I've exceed my four on the HATE..but really I could think of about 20 more...sad huh? I've tried to group them together a bit.
Four cars I've owned
1. Datsun 260Z
2. Ford Mustang Convertible
3. Mitsubishi Galant
4. Ford Explorer (which I love but can't afford to drive anymore!)
You've been tagged...there are a few more questions I may add later...but really...I have to go back to work now.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
It's good to be back!!
We have been without power since Tuesday. I can't understand why! We had a storm Tuesday evening...it didn't strike me as the 5th worse storm in PA history..but apparently it was. I grew up in Florida. I've seen some bad storms...this didn't qualify. I called our darling electric company (PECO) to see what was up and how long the power would be out...I was told power would be restored Sunday at noon. I wanted to cry. Now I'm not a crier...but at that moment I was in shock ...what would I do without power for 5 days?? I couldn't believe it! I actually hung up the phone and called back again just to be sure I heard it right (it was the cell phone mind you because our landline wasn't working either).
I continued to call every 2 hours since I first heard that automated voice tell me my "power would be restored on Sunday at 12:00 pm." Finally last night after starting my second night with no air conditioning in 95 degree heat, I got an update...Thursday at 8:00 pm...so after 48 hours with out power...I've cranked the air down to 68 degrees...I'm wearing sweat pants and a long sleeved t-shirt...shipping wine and blogging.
Thank god for electricity!!!!!!!!!!
I continued to call every 2 hours since I first heard that automated voice tell me my "power would be restored on Sunday at 12:00 pm." Finally last night after starting my second night with no air conditioning in 95 degree heat, I got an update...Thursday at 8:00 pm...so after 48 hours with out power...I've cranked the air down to 68 degrees...I'm wearing sweat pants and a long sleeved t-shirt...shipping wine and blogging.
Thank god for electricity!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, July 17, 2006
Why "I just want a baby darn it?"
It really had nothing to do with adopting...really. It was my attitude dealing with infertility. I wanted a baby so badly that I was willing to do anything. Poke myself with needles, took drugs that made me a lunatic...more so than my normal crazy self. I was more familiar with the probe on the ultrasound machine than I ever was with any man...(maybe that's why I couldn't get pregnant!) And sex when it was time...never because I was in the mood. I just wanted a baby damn it!
So now I look at my blog title and I wonder...will people wonder is that why I'm adopting from China? I just want a baby damn it!? Don't care where she/he comes from!
That isn't necessarily true. I always wanted to adopt internationally so I'm sure eventually I would have ended up here anyway...I think my journey was just "sped up." Now I wish I would have done it sooner. My daughter will probably be 11 by the time we come home with her sister. I think it is sad...neither will ever experience that sibling rivarly...or at least I think they won't...they will be too far apart in age. I doubt I could afford to adopt again....who know what the future holds!
So now I look at my blog title and I wonder...will people wonder is that why I'm adopting from China? I just want a baby damn it!? Don't care where she/he comes from!
That isn't necessarily true. I always wanted to adopt internationally so I'm sure eventually I would have ended up here anyway...I think my journey was just "sped up." Now I wish I would have done it sooner. My daughter will probably be 11 by the time we come home with her sister. I think it is sad...neither will ever experience that sibling rivarly...or at least I think they won't...they will be too far apart in age. I doubt I could afford to adopt again....who know what the future holds!
Friday, July 14, 2006
I'm so proud!!
DD and I were eating dinner as we always do on Friday nights...in front of the TV..barely conscious at 6:30 pm and ready for bed. It's been a long, busy week. I pause on the news...KYW to be exact.... to see what the weather will be like tomorrow. I don't watch the news anymore. It's way too depressing and I try to stay blissful ignorant....haven't you ever notice how stupid & crazy people are usually the happiest people ? To the point that it just seems strange??...Why are they so fucking happy??? Well anyway...I'm trying it out....not the crazy part...just the ignorant part.
I digress....KYW is showing a piece about oil drilling in Alaska..the wildlife, the Eskimos and of course the lovely price of oil these days. And after a bite of pasta, DD looks at me, slightly turns her head and says..."George Bush sucks!" and took another bite of pasta to continue watching TV...I just smiled and thought I'M SO PROUD! THAT'S MY LITTLE GIRL!!
I digress....KYW is showing a piece about oil drilling in Alaska..the wildlife, the Eskimos and of course the lovely price of oil these days. And after a bite of pasta, DD looks at me, slightly turns her head and says..."George Bush sucks!" and took another bite of pasta to continue watching TV...I just smiled and thought I'M SO PROUD! THAT'S MY LITTLE GIRL!!
Thursday, July 13, 2006
I really hate APC
Seriously, I f-ing hate it. This morning someone on APC asked... "why do some send personal emails as opposed to sending emails to the group APC list." So I respond..."well because some folks are monitored (ME!) and it takes hours for it to appear to the group where as emails to the person are sent & recieved right away".......now it has been hours..............hours and my email still hasn't made it to the group. Others emails I've sent after the fact have made it to the list............gee...am I still being monitored since the awful message board post??/ (see below)...so in my "I've had a drink with dinner" mind set...I've sent a message to the list owner to be posted at a later date (with a response in hand) so I'm sure I'll soon be banned. I f-ing hate these holier than thou people..........really I do. But I also get good info from this group...F*CK!!!!! Really...I hate it!!!!!!!!!!!
Update: As of today...I still haven't gotten a response. Maybe that is a good thing. I'm sure the only thing I managed to do was keep myself on the monitor list permanently! Of well! And I've edited my foul mouth slighty...you know...don't want to run everyone off!
Update: As of today...I still haven't gotten a response. Maybe that is a good thing. I'm sure the only thing I managed to do was keep myself on the monitor list permanently! Of well! And I've edited my foul mouth slighty...you know...don't want to run everyone off!
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Damn it! I'm really not that tough!
As I stated in one of my original posts...I like reading blogs, not all blogs...because some well...they just suck. Most I like I consider to be damn well written..better then some books I've read this summer. But on two of the sites I like to read...which conveniently are also transracial adoptees...they have noted about being linked on other blogs. Apparently they don't like it! Some how that doesn't surprise me...you know..me be being a prospective AAP...and you know I'm sure my blog title probably offends some too....but out of fear of them password protecting them entirely...most are now password protecting some entries......I'm removing them from my favorite blog list. I'm a coward...I've caved. I no longer respect myself! You win, I lose! Now going to sulk in my corner at work!
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Yahoo adoption groups...."Adoption Disruption"
God! I both love and hate them...maybe loathe is a better word, at times. I love them, well basically because I'm nosy and I like to hear other peoples experiences...but god I hate the holier than thou attitude many folks on there have.
If you are part of the China adoption community I would have to assume you are a member of...or at least heard of APC...the yahoo group. Apparently this weekend someone posted a link to a blog where the family turned down their referral once in China...... and once they had the baby for a few days. Of course I have somewhat of a life and I wasn't on top of my emails this weekend and missed this discussion.
Being that I'm nosy... I attempted to look at the blog and it is now password protected. As I said earlier someone posted the link on APC and I'm sure that is all it took...especially with many of those god fearing, god will now damn you people on there.......let me pass on my wrath or god blesses as needed!!!!
From what I understand the comments were brutal...but as I said I missed it and was not able to read them first hand. As I was reading thru the posts on APC I was further intrigued and had to find this blog...first I googled for the cached pages...which got me a little of the blog, one page to be exact. Then I actually came upon a message board where some one had the foresight to cut and copy it! Eureka! I found it!
After reading it..I have to be honest...based on the information given on the blog...which really isn't much considering what they must of went thru (I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt here)...I couldn't really make an informed decision as the "rightness or wrongness" of their decision...of course everyone on APC seem to decide for them.
I, in my great nosiness, wanted to share this message board...because believe it or not there were many like me trying to figure out what the hell was going on...I attempt to post that if anyone is interest...email me and I will email them the message board. Well I get a message from the owner that makes me feel like I'm in 3rd grade....it states and I quote..."This reads very inappropriate. The family has password protected this site, please consider posting this on the large list?"
Excuse me??? Aren't you the folks that posted the link to the family's personal page???? I am only letting people know a copy is available on a completely unrelated website that doesn't link to anyone person specifically!!!! I mean really! Not to mention these idiots posted a blog on the internet...THE WORLD WIDE internet...HELLO..it isn't private!!!
Write a diary and keep it under your bed if you like privacy...you can get one of those nifty little heart shape locks while you are at it! Get over yourself already. Can we say hypocrite?! You posted the link to their fucking website on YOUR YAHOO group that has over 20,000 active members and suddenly I'm inappropriate!
Just so there isn't any confusion...this is what I attempted to write on APC "If anyone is interested...there are plenty of websites out there that copied the original blog.........I read thru it just a few minutes ago..anyone interested let me know and I'll give you the link that I have."
Did I post the link for all to see...no!!!!
But...now I am!!!! Here is the link to the "Adoption Disruption" thread on a message board...that is what it is now being called. Should we just call it what it is...family refused the child.....for whatever reason.
I'm trying not to judge...but god, I would have nightmares about that for years to come. It's bad enough I'm traveling half way around the world to rip a child from it's culture and heritage...which I worry about immensely...now I'm going to go over and decide...well this one really isn't good enough for me...I'd like another one...one that is cuter and seems to be more on target for her age...no "failure to thrive" as they put it.
I don't know..... how would you thrive lying in a crib all day with no one to hold you, love you, feed you when needed????...I don't know...I don't think I would be thriving, how about you? I hope to never face making a decision so profoundly earth shattering...at least I know it would shatter my world. I don't think I could live with myself... oh...they named the girl the same name...that is just in bad taste...I guess she will be forever known as Hannah 2...how to you explain that one to Hannah 2 twenty years from now...will she think she is disposable too? There is the making of one angry adult adoptee...not that they don't have enough to contend with!
Okay, off my soap box now and good night!!!
Did I tell you....DD just told me all her friends told her last night at a sleep over that there is no Santa Claus????? I'll have to save that for another day!
If you are part of the China adoption community I would have to assume you are a member of...or at least heard of APC...the yahoo group. Apparently this weekend someone posted a link to a blog where the family turned down their referral once in China...... and once they had the baby for a few days. Of course I have somewhat of a life and I wasn't on top of my emails this weekend and missed this discussion.
Being that I'm nosy... I attempted to look at the blog and it is now password protected. As I said earlier someone posted the link on APC and I'm sure that is all it took...especially with many of those god fearing, god will now damn you people on there.......let me pass on my wrath or god blesses as needed!!!!
From what I understand the comments were brutal...but as I said I missed it and was not able to read them first hand. As I was reading thru the posts on APC I was further intrigued and had to find this blog...first I googled for the cached pages...which got me a little of the blog, one page to be exact. Then I actually came upon a message board where some one had the foresight to cut and copy it! Eureka! I found it!
After reading it..I have to be honest...based on the information given on the blog...which really isn't much considering what they must of went thru (I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt here)...I couldn't really make an informed decision as the "rightness or wrongness" of their decision...of course everyone on APC seem to decide for them.
I, in my great nosiness, wanted to share this message board...because believe it or not there were many like me trying to figure out what the hell was going on...I attempt to post that if anyone is interest...email me and I will email them the message board. Well I get a message from the owner that makes me feel like I'm in 3rd grade....it states and I quote..."This reads very inappropriate. The family has password protected this site, please consider posting this on the large list?"
Excuse me??? Aren't you the folks that posted the link to the family's personal page???? I am only letting people know a copy is available on a completely unrelated website that doesn't link to anyone person specifically!!!! I mean really! Not to mention these idiots posted a blog on the internet...THE WORLD WIDE internet...HELLO..it isn't private!!!
Write a diary and keep it under your bed if you like privacy...you can get one of those nifty little heart shape locks while you are at it! Get over yourself already. Can we say hypocrite?! You posted the link to their fucking website on YOUR YAHOO group that has over 20,000 active members and suddenly I'm inappropriate!
Just so there isn't any confusion...this is what I attempted to write on APC "If anyone is interested...there are plenty of websites out there that copied the original blog.........I read thru it just a few minutes ago..anyone interested let me know and I'll give you the link that I have."
Did I post the link for all to see...no!!!!
But...now I am!!!! Here is the link to the "Adoption Disruption" thread on a message board...that is what it is now being called. Should we just call it what it is...family refused the child.....for whatever reason.
I'm trying not to judge...but god, I would have nightmares about that for years to come. It's bad enough I'm traveling half way around the world to rip a child from it's culture and heritage...which I worry about immensely...now I'm going to go over and decide...well this one really isn't good enough for me...I'd like another one...one that is cuter and seems to be more on target for her age...no "failure to thrive" as they put it.
I don't know..... how would you thrive lying in a crib all day with no one to hold you, love you, feed you when needed????...I don't know...I don't think I would be thriving, how about you? I hope to never face making a decision so profoundly earth shattering...at least I know it would shatter my world. I don't think I could live with myself... oh...they named the girl the same name...that is just in bad taste...I guess she will be forever known as Hannah 2...how to you explain that one to Hannah 2 twenty years from now...will she think she is disposable too? There is the making of one angry adult adoptee...not that they don't have enough to contend with!
Okay, off my soap box now and good night!!!
Did I tell you....DD just told me all her friends told her last night at a sleep over that there is no Santa Claus????? I'll have to save that for another day!
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