Wow…It’s been a while and where to start? I guess I’m better. I can’t say I’m walking around in constant state of grief and disbelief…but I can’t say I’m all together myself. I’m lazy…prone to just going to bed if S is around to deal with our daughter and the dogs. My house isn’t the same…my bedroom is a disaster…I do enough in the rest of the house to get by, but it certainly isn’t as orderly as it usually is. S and DD are out for the night so I had a bowl of ice cream for dinner…not something I would normally do. I wonder if this is some case of depression that I don’t even know about……I can’t say I feel depressed. Nor am I myself. I guess this too will pass. Time…time, everyone keeps saying it takes time. F time….keeps rolling along regardless.

I’m not even enjoying my Christmas shopping. Usually by now I’m close to being done. I usually offer to help my male friends get stuff for their wives because I love to shop, and I find they are essentially clueless in the gift giving department (I wish someone would help S out in the same way!). I especially like shopping with someone else’s money. But see…I use to do my dad’s shopping for my mom. Guess I won’t be doing that this year. I’m randomly raiding Target, not doing the mall and ordering everything I can online with out comparing prices! If you know me…that’s shocking. I mean I’m the girl that buys something…finds it for $5.00 cheaper and buys it again, only to run around and take the original one back to save the $5.00. I didn’t decorate for Halloween and couldn’t tell you where my Christmas stuff is b/c S. re organized the basement and I could care less in attempting to find or do anything...and I mean anything.

I’m not following the adoption blogs. I am avoiding dinner with friends because I’d rather go to bed and read. Man I need to snap out of this…but I did finally write an entry here…so maybe it’s a start!

And HEY! The Democrats won the elections! I did do a big happy dance that day. And Rumsfield out too! Only if we could get rid of Bush and Cheney! See…maybe this is a start of a better mood!